God’s Will Not Mine

I was told it requires patience Knowing God’s will. I would love to know all of His will all at once, wouldn’t you? I suppose that’s natural for us impatient humans. We want to know what’s around the next corner. We went to peek at the end of the chapter. I have learned through the years that’s not how God shows His will. Instead with one little baby step at a time, each of those a step of faith and each one taken with complete trust in Him, His will is slowly revealed. While I wait for instruction and clear leading from Him, I continue to walk in His light, do His work and bring Him glory.

As much as I wanted to give one of my kidneys to my cousin Martha, I am no longer a candidate. After lenghty discussions with the very helpful staff at the transplant center, my doctors here in New England and a few close friends, for various reasons, both medical and personal, my kidney will stay in my body. I am saddened but know the decision is wise.

It doesn’t matter how much my heart wanted to give my kidney to my cousin, it was not meant to be. I learned so much in these few months as I prayerfully explored and considered this option. My eyes were opened to the advances in medicine I knew little about and the challenges facing people like my cousin both medically and insurance wise. It is so overwhelming to navigate it all and I am thankful caring individuals are advocating that Martha get the best care possible every day. She deserves nothing less.

I’ll admit I also enjoyed being in touch with my cousins again and am embarrassed some that it took a medical crisis for me to reach out. We know that we were all pulled in a zillion directions over time with marriages, family and jobs to take care of. We had lapsed into occasional Christmas cards, facebook posts and even the rare family reunion here or there to catch up. I am going to make a point of not letting this happen again.

Please pray with me for Martha, for patience as she waits and that insurance issues be resolved. Pray that the Lord’s will be done. All to His Glory.

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